Sunday, 12 January 2014

Rise n Shine Part 2

Life is best for those who live it, difficult for those who analyse it and worse for those who criticize it. Our attitude defines and determines the life we live, why not then laugh so hard that even sorrow smile back, live so well that even death wants to see you alive and fight so hard that fate accepts defeat.

We are all similar no matter what our size or physique and within each one of us there is a unique beauty and grace though finding that beauty however a time might not be easy for some of us. See, Cinderella had first to recognize that her problem was not her evil step mother; her problem was that it was easier for her to hide out cleaning the house than it was to go out and find happiness. She needed a fairy godmother to empower with the kind of self-confidence it takes to reject the insecurities brought about by unrealistic, over cheating, hair brushed and heuristic princess images in the media. It took some very long over view for Cinderella to change and trade in her scrub brush for a fabulous pair of dancing shoes. But boy was it worth it? That indeed is the question I need you to ask yourself.

It is about that time you realized that just because you're physically challenged doesn't make you a lesser person or make God cast you aside. It is your physical being that has been tampered with and not your abilities. So let no one refer to you as disabled because you are able. You are who you are not because of your physical ability but your inner ability.

It is truly painful to have to wake up to the thought of a missing body part, and it is even more painful to come to the realization that you can no longer be or do some of the things you loved doing before. It actually feels like your world has suddenly crumbled down and life just lost its meaning in a flash and you start feeling as though you’re a bother to those close to you and instead start sympathizing with yourself and begin feeling so much of a loser especially when someone comes in, looks at you and tells you how sorry they are and start cursing on the devil as though the devil already acclaimed to having been behind your current condition and predicament and the best part is when someone walks in and in the name of God, tells you how that part of your body missing will eventually grow back and you look at the person though you are in pain you can’t help but wish it true. You suddenly start spending most of your time praying, fasting and crying out to the Lord for that miracle of growing back your missing body part, you even forget how awkward it not only sounds but also looks. It’s not like am not a believer, but I just love being realistic

Trust me I feel you, have be there, done all that and worse in line with being imaginative, I believe I deserve a trophy for that if not an award. That actually reminds me of this one particular day when a lady pastor walked up to my hospital bedside and began preaching of how God in due time will allow my leg grow back to its original form, I looked at that lady and burst out laughing, not that I thought her stupid, but as a kid my aunt always told me, the only way to keep growing was to always take the afternoon naps  which made me wonder how many afternoon naps had I to take to have my leg grow and wouldn't that also mean that my left leg would keep grow. Yeah that kind of imagination, trust me it sounds kind of funny but then it marked the end of preachers in my room but the beginning of nurses torture putting up with my cartoon nature.

Yes I just said it, I lost my right leg some time in 2001 immediately one week after I was diagnosed with bone cancer better known as Giant cell tumors by both doctors and scientists and that was after spending almost eight months gallivanting in the hospital I was more of a sick celebrity than a real patient. Well this was right after a series of psychiatric treatments which made me feel good just for a while until the time of my discharge that my insecurities started. Which had me wondering whether or not my friends would still want to be seen with me, would they laugh or just feel sorry for me, I had so many questions running through my head and it was for this reason I made sure that I left the hospital with a prosthetic leg (artificial limb) and none of my friends or neighbours knew anything about my lost leg. I worked and put extra effort in concealing my new identity than I did in school work. I became this person so hard to understand and be around and as my mom puts it, I had this weird kind of attitude that changes just as a chameleon camouflaged its colour. A sense of insecurity that kept me through my A and O levels

And just like Cinderella, it took me quit a lot of strength and will power to finally learn to accept, love, appreciate and find contentment within myself and not who or what others wanted or expected of me for I realized that it was never my physicality that defined the person in me rather my personality, something I wish I had realized earlier, then maybe my insecurities and perfectionism wouldn't be a contender in my life but am glad that either way I was able to realize my true self. Oh and did I mention, that I eventually did away with my prosthetic leg for I finally deemed it right for everyone to come to terms with the new me, grow up from my insecurities, live and take charge of my life, inspire respect from others rather than demand it and let them either love or hate me for that eventually stopped being a concern of mine and instead what became of grave importance of me was actually what I thought and believed of myself. For I decided to take control of my life, reclaim my power and get out of my way to find that symbol that reminded me of who I was before and then stopped being scared of change and started being honest with myself.

And just like me, I’d like you to start looking at yourself more of a winner for you still have your life to live and actually start using your challenge not as an excuse for failure but a strength igniter to reach for greater heights and stop putting yourself down by being so sympathetic of your condition and grant yourself this one wish to do something worthwhile instead of complaining. All I want is for you to realize that any part of your body can be maimed but not you will, so instead, think of yourself as an exceptional being with exceptional abilities and capabilities. So why give up on yourself right now just because you lost a part of your body and others refer to you as a disabled being, when you know for sure you’re worth more than a million times better than that person who readily ridicules you.

You also need to understand that your life isn't over just because you have a missing body part; rather it’s just the beginning of a new you in a different context and realize that you’re free, free to live your life in a different way, free from the deceit of ungrateful friends, from the pain. You my friends are free and can be and do anything you want to and set your mind on. So never say die, rather remain focused never allowing any condition bar you from achieving your set goals and objectives and start using your being to lead the life in you without relying on any well-wishers. Remember, you my friend can lose any part of your body but never in your life lose faith in yourself that you can rise against all odds, reach for the stars and shine like the sun because disability is not and can never be inability but a phase in life you and I have to embrace and live through with pride and dignity.

So even as the year unfolds with new challenges, let us realize the godmother within us and embrace the hiccups that life throws at us with the comfort that we can a cord it for the betterment of our self being. Oh and need I mention that am currently dating one of the most coolest and sweetest guy ever, won an award for the best performing poet in the recently concluded Lake Basin Film and Theatre Guild awards, a radio presenter in the making with numerous opinion articles on the run daily in the local newspapers, talk about spreading my wings, rise and shining.  So if I can rise against my challenge, what makes you think you can’t?


  1. I like this...can I give you a writing gig? Please say yes ;-)

    1. hahaha.. yes you can any time, any place and absolutely any day ;)